Comments

• 30/09/2008 @ 06:11 Mebenji said

  

  Dear Anony,
  These look like feed back loops and vicious cycles and sure are nasty to live with. How do you break free of these cycles? I'd like to help.

  (((Hugs)))

  -Mebenji

• 02/10/2008 @ 09:24 Anonymous said

  

  H Mebenji,
  I think I have come to a point in life where i thought I'd dealt with things but I seem to be thinking more and more about my past. Well present and future also. I think what I mean is whatever we do causes an action or reaction either in ourselves and/or others. Maybe thats giving myself a huge cross to bear-well I know it is. I think I try and analyse and rationalise things too much instead of accepting them. Oh I don't know anymore!! I try and think things through but never seem to get anywhere. I think I should be selfish for a while and 'sod' everybody else's feelings-but that is easier said than done!!
  I think I'm unclear as to whether it's present issues that are bothering me or past-I think it's present. I am going for an assessment next week and I hope this time I actually get somewhere-it's just the waiting. I guess I need to know if it's a chemical imbalance in my brain or if it is psychological factors.
  xx

• 02/10/2008 @ 12:27 Mebenji said

  

  I hope that assessment points you into the right direction.

  In any event - it seems you've taken on being responsible for EVERYTHING...other people for their own actions, for how they chose to respond or if they simply mindlessly react - not you. You are not who/what controls everything, so you're not responsible for everything. It's not even possible to foresee every possible consequence to every possible action you might take - decisions are rarely as simple as 'yes', one way or 'no' and going another; how we do what we decide... it's all so complicated, more so if you take into account how you feel at the moment, how you feel about the people possibly effected...

  I wish I could quote those lines about knowing what you can change, knowing what you can't and learning how to tell the difference...I hope you know the one I mean, because it is important, 'cause you try to carry that heavy cross and it'll break you. It's too much.

  You do have to care for yourself. Why shouldn't you come high on your list of priorities? You didn't say if you have family or intimate friends you care about and want to care for when they need someone. If so you can't do so if you're not healthy.

  Is there something going on that may be prompting these thoughts of the past? Sometimes there are events, a place, a person, a conversation, tv/radio programme that trigger these things.

  Or sometimes, I think for me, like the other night when I was listening to an uninteresting book thoughts just arose - it is like when I make a space for them, there they are...mostly it's a damn nuisance. Sometimes it is really distressing for a while. These times always pass.

  It's if you can't shake these thoughts, or if they completely overwhelm you that they are a Problem with a capital 'P' and maybe you do need help dealing with them and the feelings you have about them.

  When you're not feeling on top of things, I think being 'selfish' is not a bad thing; a necessary thing - caring for yourself.

  (((hugs)))

  -Mebenji