Comments

• 03/03/2008 @ 08:40 roze said

  

  Want to talk about that secret? You can reply anonymously.

• 03/03/2008 @ 14:20 Anonymous said

  

  My husband recently told me he is bisexual and in love with his best friend.

• 03/03/2008 @ 20:00 roze said

  

  That must have hurt so much. Did you have any idea before this? i guess he still wants you as well. You do have a choice over how you spend the rest of your life...... Thinking of you. Take care roze

• 03/03/2008 @ 20:30 Anonymous said

  

  I had no idea before his telling me. We've been married over 20 years and have a good life otherwise.

• 03/03/2008 @ 20:53 roze said

  

  That took my breath away. It must have shaken your trust and understanding of the last 20 years so profoundly. How have you responded - have you talked about it? Hey - big hugs - that is so damned hard. roze

• 03/03/2008 @ 22:59 Anonymous said

  

  When he told me I went into shock and lied and told him I was okay and still loved him. Later when I was alone I threw up. I do still love him, but my sex drive dropped to nothing.

• 04/03/2008 @ 06:17 roze said

  

  Do you feel it is time for another conversation with him? If you don't talk about how you are really feeling it is unlikely to help him or you. Hugs roze

• 04/03/2008 @ 15:11 Anonymous said

  

  Thank you for all your responses roze. What would further conversation accomplish other than breaking us apart? He is happy because he told his deepest secret to someone he loves and trusts. If I tell him how I feel it will devistate him. In every relationship there has to be sacrifice. I'm willing to make this sacrifice for ours.

• 04/03/2008 @ 18:16 SwimUpstream said

  

  Hey there, can I ask, who is it you are pretending your husband is? If you want to make things work, have you considered couples counselling? Seems there is a lot going unspoken in your marriage. I read somewhere that most people have three different relationships in their life, some have them with different people, some with the same person. Perhaps you and your husband are entering a 'new' relationship together, a counsellor might help you come to terms with this.

• 04/03/2008 @ 20:42 roze said

  

  I am wondering if you would feel more comfortable asking him to have a break from your sexual relationship - because that must really mess your head up. He has asked something of you - perhaps give yourself the space. Let yourself have time to really work out what you feel. It is clear you love and care for him greatly - time to do that for you. Big hugs roze

• 05/03/2008 @ 00:34 sharon said

  

  is your relationship about sex or love?if he still wants to be with you, despite his attraction for males, and if you can find it in your heart to still have commitment to him, sex doesn't have to be everything or even anything. don't let the world dictate how to love. love can be so much more. alice

• 05/03/2008 @ 11:31 Anonymous said

  

  SwimUpstream, I pretend he is a man I used to date. We have been to counselling which is where he found the bravery to tell me about his feelings.

  Roze, I do love him and he hasn't asked anything of me. He has never acted on his feelings or leanings and I believe he never will. I'm not willing to ask him to give up sexual relations because then he would know that something is wrong. I don't want to hurt him.

  Sharon, our relationship is about love, companionship, friendship and sex. He has no problem with our sex life, in fact he is much more active now. I'm the one with the problem and I have found a way to deal with it.

• 05/03/2008 @ 11:32 roze said

  

  Your love is clear - i just hope that you don't neglect yourself in this and how you feel deep down. Rx