Comments

• 25/02/2008 @ 18:39 roze said

  

  I don't think that is so unusual - but it is rather frustrating!

• 01/03/2008 @ 00:28 boho said

  

  sadly you are not on your own this is part of life it seems i for one dont feel comforatble with the usualy mardi gras type gay freedom to me its of right in my face balance takes time and time take wisdom and maturity but how do we live a full and happy life with this frustation? now you have reached out here and theres lots of understanding and comfort we travel together.
  boho

• 01/03/2008 @ 00:39 boho said

  

  g day overseas ! this is a great brick to explore maybe just chatting and sharing your thoughts can help share our battles im with you and understand very well your stuggle . boho

• 10/05/2008 @ 20:00 summer76 said

  

  I know exactly what you mean. To quote Groucho Marx 'I wouldnt join any club that would have me as a member.'I feel exactly the same. I have come to the conclusion that i do not get off on Gay men because so many, in their search for themselves and identity in a still hostile world, fall in the trap of the media stereotype. Looking and sounding like they are 'supposed to' and acting out something that is not really them after all. I did it for a while when I came out and instead of the experience being liberating I was very unhappy.

• 10/05/2008 @ 21:42 Overseas said

  

  Thanks for your comment summer76. I for one have never tried to be as I was supposed to because I've never felt it as the right way for me. I'm a man (not a macho) and I'm attracted by men, not by these guys playing a role or trying to be something in between man and woman. Another reason that I've found lately as to why I'm not attracted by them : their inclination to ostracism.

• 10/05/2008 @ 21:42 boho said

  

  summer 76 hello very sound advice what you is sooooooooooooooo true it can take time to find out and be comfortable who you are, being at peace in your own skin it the goal to mental health its so easy not knowing who you are so blessing of of joy and happiness to you;:)
  boho

• 11/05/2008 @ 20:32 roze said

  

  Hey summer76 - what made you so unhappy about coming out?

• 11/05/2008 @ 20:57 summer76 said

  

  Hi there, unhappy because I fell in with a guy and others with whom I had nothing in common, apart from being gay. At a time when I should have been finding myself I was trying to fit into another closet to be accepted on the scene. It took a few years but I moved on.

• 11/05/2008 @ 21:01 roze said

  

  Yet your post on talkabout suggests that you have moved on in terms of the stuff you do - yet are still suffering from that time and the absence of someone who makes you feel complete? Rxx

• 11/05/2008 @ 22:42 Overseas said

  

  I find it rather dfficult to meet someone with whom to share my life. Most of the time, as Summer has said, the only common point is our sexuality. Where I work, there's a guy with whom I could have a love relationship, but he's straight. I have rather strong feelings for him, but I know it won't happen.

• 12/05/2008 @ 14:07 roze said

  

  That is tough. Have either of you tried internet dating?

• 12/05/2008 @ 18:42 Overseas said

  

  Oh yes, roze. I've tried internet dating, numerous times, and I can tell you that it was even worse for me. Okay, I won't pretend that I've always said or done things in the right way, far from it! But I know that I've never tried to meet the perfect man of my imagination just to avoid loneliness or to have sex. And now with the help of the book I've already mentioned before, I have a clearer view of where and how I was, and what have I faced - fears, compulsion, compensation. If it was pretty difficult for me then, is because without knowing it, I instinctively refused to be a personality, and fought for my individuality.

• 12/05/2008 @ 18:55 roze said

  

  I admire you Overseas. It seems you have kept your authenticity. It is so much better to have integrity with who you are than be someone to please someone else. Takes a lot of emotional courage. Rx

• 14/05/2008 @ 18:08 Overseas said

  

  Well you know Roze, I consider myself as a pretty lucky person. I've a rather good insight, and despite my lack of education, I tend to balance it spontaneously by being autonomous in my understanding of what's going on around me or in my life. This means a lot of observation and a lot of reflection. I do it for me, and if I can use my brain to help others, I do it.
  So maybe it takes a lot of emotional courage, but isn't it worth ? If you can do something to go further in your life. Rather than waiting for something coming from the outside.

  About three years I've bought a book (another one... ;-) ), which has confirmed many of my thoughts. And it starts with three very good questions. Here they are:

  - Who are you ?
  - Why are you living and working in the way you are ?
  - What might you yet become and do with your life ?

  You can find the book online for just a few £ if you wish. Another long post from me. O.