Not By Choice

thorn

Brick created on 07/12/2007 @ 06:12

Your brick story

I am childless, not by choice, but by circumstance. I read the "definition of love" talkabout and the comment that someone would die emotionally if anything happened to their child made me want to scream.... Children die. Lovers die. Parents and siblings and pets die. We all die, it's one of the two things we all have in common (the other being birth). Most people do not quit living or loving or laughing when a child dies. It takes time, but one day you will feel like living and laughing and eventually loving again. And when you do... It will be more intense because you realize how fragile and transitory life really is.

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Comments

07/12/2007 @ 08:18 roze said

Well Thorn - this is a gutting brick. And such a strong message for everyone whose children or other very SOs have died - yes love is so very much more important than ego. Your image and words leave many other strong feelings that i cannot find words to adequately convey. And a question about what happened.
07/12/2007 @ 14:22 thorn said

Making this brick was very difficult. The words on the brick were easy, the pictures were not. I struggled. I decided to go with first and last photos. I remember laying on the table, needing to pee, listening the blood rushing though my womb and then the heartbeats. Time stood still. I can't adequately describe the sheer terror and simultaneous rush of love I felt... well, yes I can: I vomited. The memorial bench, with their names removed, looks like I felt when I first saw it - blank and empty. I tried to highlight the contrast of how full (of life, love, happiness) I felt when I was pregnant vs how empty when they died.
03/02/2008 @ 02:01 meandmy said

I am so sorry you went through this. i know that anything i can say right now cannot comfort you. But i hope time can give you answers, comfort and hope.
03/02/2008 @ 04:03 thorn said

It happened a long time ago meandmy, sometimes it feels like another lifetime. I've moved on, but it took me years to let go of my wish to be a mother again. Normally I am a very upbeat person, it's just recently I've been down. I'll get better I promise.