Lonely

SJ46

Brick created on 26/04/2008 @ 15:02

Your brick story

my engagement ended the friday before xmas 07 - i moved out end of jan 08. All i have done since then is think about how much i love her, blame myself for what went wrong - although i don't know what went wrong. We had the perfect relationship, or so i thought. We never argued until November 07 - then i was a complete arse spitting my dummy out in public because i didn't want to be somewhere and wasn't enjoying myself. That one foolish act ended a wonderful relationship - i no longer have the love of such a wonderful, caring and sensitive human being. After that night it all acme out that she was no longer happy and hadn't been for some time. It all ended as quickly as it had started.
I phoned her yesterday to say sorry but to be honest i don't know what i'm being sorry for because i still do not fully understand how the love went so quickly. I also told her yesterday that i still love her, can't stop thinking about her and wish we could be together again. Of course she said no - i knew she would - but she said it in a kind way - because she is a kind person. I guess i was selfish in phoning her - but i had to say sorry and had to know if there was any chance.
So my life now consists of work and bed and bed and work. I don't look forward because i have no idea about how to enjoy life on my own. Another weekend sat indoors when all i want to do is escape - but where? I have taken up yoga and mediation and am exploring spirtual side of life - it helps but i do so wish i could get out of this rut and get out amongst the living and life again

Tags:

Comments

27/04/2008 @ 10:35 UMxx said

SJ46 - hi - I'm sorry that things are sad for you at the moment. Good for you trying some new things - the rut will end - this is really tough change you are dealing with. take care UM
28/04/2008 @ 10:05 Wolfie said

Hello SJ46. Welcome to Big White Wall - I think you might be new. I very much hope that you can explore all of your options here on the wall and work at finding a happier place in your life. Wx
26/10/2008 @ 06:07 oncebittentwicetaken said

There is a reason for everything... And in the end, I bet you get, the love and happiness you await... It sounds like you are on the right path... Time, will tell, and I bet its going to be as exciting and wonderful as all fresh new loves are... Good Luck, SJ46 !!!!