Comments

• 06/10/2008 @ 06:17 roze said

  

  Is this a long relationship that has lost its fizz Aleena? Powerful and rather sad image. Rx

• 06/10/2008 @ 08:49 ant said

  

  Hey Aleena - do you speak of this to your partner? I wonder how you might want to change this? ant x

• 06/10/2008 @ 11:10 Aleena said

  

  long relationship..thats not only lost its fizz.. but there are just so many problems that were never there...i love him so much... and i miss him...it feels like ive lost him already..
  we talk..and we both know whats happening...and we both want it to go back to what it was...it just doesnt seem possible...!

• 07/10/2008 @ 06:02 roze said

  

  There are times when long relationships come under a lot of strain and both people know what is going on but somehow struggle to find a way through. It sounds as if you would really like to find a future with him - that may not be the past - but in which you are both happy. What do you feel has led up to this sense of having lost him? Rx

• 07/10/2008 @ 11:00 ant said

  

  Hey Aleena, I would think that almost anything is possible if both of you are aware of your relationship and how you would prefer it to be. I guess you are right it can't go back to what is was but it could go forward and be better.

  And will if you are both committed to that :) ant xx

• 07/10/2008 @ 14:05 Aleena said

  

  it feels like there is a huge distance between us now... we fight all the time.. it feels like we're both trying to back off but still can't let go...
  i know he is as miserable as i am..and i just wish that there was some way that i could end his misery..even if it means not being with him anymore..
  and if there is a way it could go forward and be better... i just wish we somehow see the way!!

• 07/10/2008 @ 20:29 cherry said

  

  thinking of you Aleena , i relate to this brick and would like to send you hugs .
  Cherry x

• 08/10/2008 @ 04:57 UMxx said

  

  Maybe the first thing to agree is to make a pact to stop fighting. It will be hard to close the distance between you if there is always the tension of getting in or over a fight.

  
  Do you think you could come up with that sort of agreement. maybe put a sign on the fridge and write down things that you need to talk about and sit down and "discuss" not argue. You might need 2 or 3 meetings are week.

  The first meeting could come up with a list of how you are going to treat each other - same rules for both of you. Like, no sledging, no personal attacks, stick to the current issue and don't bring up old stories. type it out and have it there so you are both reminded of the rules of engagement. At the end of each meeting try to look at all the things that you were able to achieve by working together and stopping the habit of fighting.

  Lots of hugs to you - and maybe this idea won't be the one that works but it might get you thinking about other ways to talk and not fight.

  UM xx

• 08/10/2008 @ 13:22 Aleena said

  

  hugs to you cherry =)

• 08/10/2008 @ 13:32 Aleena said

  

  thank you for your ideas UM...i just wish it was easy to let go of the old stories... i feel like they become a part of you...but im trying nonetheless..

• 08/10/2008 @ 14:33 roze said

  

  Another thing i found so helpful and it is terribly simple is to do a 'three moments that have been good between us today' - can be the tiniest things. Or even one if three is difficult to find. It can help rebalance. I did this for some time when i was going through a bad patch with a previous partner. It sounds silly but it helped!

• 08/10/2008 @ 17:35 Aleena said

  

  i think ill start off with one..=)..thank you for the suggestion roze =)

• 09/10/2008 @ 06:44 roze said

  

  Let us know how you are getting on. You have such a lovely avatar! Rx

• 09/10/2008 @ 14:31 Aleena said

  

  thank you roze.. =)..

• 16/10/2008 @ 03:40 witherwood said

  

  this is really beautiful. I hope everything works out fine for you.