Comments

• 27/09/2008 @ 12:01 ant said

  

  Nothing like a plan to help guide your way - so what is the first step do you think ?

  ant xx

• 27/09/2008 @ 18:40 freckles said

  

  Hey ant,
  I reckon I got to get outside more, either gardening or a walk.Better if I visited a friend.Something definitely in the daylight.
  I also think I should try my hardest to see and say funny things.
  But maybe the 1st thing I have to do is say 'No ' sometimes!!
  freckles x

• 29/09/2008 @ 00:49 RipOutMyHeart said

  

  Saying "no" can be hard, but it's worth it. Sometimes happiness can be found in the simplest of things. Bake cookies and share them with a child in your life. Go to a park. ^-^ And sunshine REALLY helps. <3

• 29/09/2008 @ 08:17 freckles said

  

  Hi ROMH,
  I have kind of managed a big 'no'-well it was more evading saying yes and saying 'you gotta be kidding' and 'I don't fancy that' but it's close.
  If I thought for one minute my children would eat cookies or anything I baked I would do lots-they hate anything I make and don't hesitate to tell me!!Luckily my sis enjoys my cooking.
  I walked my son to the school bus today-yipee!!It's a good 30 minute round journey for me and really enjoyed it-was very cold out this morning and I still have brain freeze.I have crawled back into bed though.Too many late nights, not eating well and too much coffee. I find being on here has occupied my mind alot and hope it is going to spur me on to do more and not just fill my time. You are very kind and thoughtful to take the time to look at my brick and add words of support-I feel very humble, thank you. I hope today has it's rewards for you.Big hug to you, Freckles xx

• 29/09/2008 @ 08:22 freckles said

  

  I also think that maybe I need to to take the time out to do 'not a lot' as keeping myself busy was counter-productive and I was more tense and nervy and panicking about everything-it was all a rush. I have more time now I have slowed down. I will try and just let it be for now.xx

• 29/09/2008 @ 09:14 ant said

  

  Hey Freckles,

  Being really honest - how much time do you have to yourself in a week to just be - I don't mean like "doing" things for yourself but to be free of things. Have you thought about meditating? There are lots of resources on the internet - guided meditations - some spiritual and some just for relaxation. Learning to be okay within your self is a big demand - and while we might work hard to sorting out all of the issues and things that trouble us I think it often comes down to what we want in our relationship with ourselves. ant :)

• 29/09/2008 @ 09:51 freckles said

  

  Hi ant,
  Phew-everyday surprises me on here. You all seem to know what to say and 'get' where I'm coming from.
  See, I know I don't know me-like I've fallen out with myself and don't know what I want anymore.I know I have do things for my children, other people, my cats and the house. I know I have to get fitter and eat well for health reasons so my body functions better-I know it will release a 'feel good' chemical for my brain as well.
  But you are so right-I want a relationship with me. I think in the past it's been masked with work, partner, children-they have all defined who I thought I was-now I have been questioning for many years what this life is all about. More so recently what my life is about.
  I think that if I can understand consciousness I will be someway to being at ease with life.If it exists and I have the capacity to understand. Maybe I'm giving myself unrealistic goals there, a pot o gold at the end of the rainbow.
  I have tried the religious route but got so intrigued with alternative theories and explanations I was told I just had to believe and that's that!
  I shall look online at meditating-I do have a dvd that incorporates meditating/hypnotherapy and I do enjoy it but maybe something more specific to my needs may help.
  Thanks ant
  Freckles x

• 30/09/2008 @ 05:20 Mebenji said

  

  Hi Freckles,

  You're asking the big questions - a real biggy that one about consciousness is/has been debated by many of our greatest thinkers...good luck with that! (LOL! Can't help it - just thinking, don't want much do ya?, makes me laugh and smile.) If your mind is up to though, philosophical thought can be very enjoyable...certainly not harmful.

  I think it is an interesting question too, about who you are without the 'mask' or not in relationship to others - I've tried to answer that too even though I don't have all the relationships you do, I've still had trouble answering this question. I think it is also one of those big questions and it makes me wonder with all our self-awareness why it is so difficult to answer.

  I'm sure as you wander around here on the Wall, you'll find lots of fun things to give you a laugh - or type 'fun' in the search box and see what comes up! :)

  -Mebenji

• 30/09/2008 @ 12:57 freckles said

  

  Hi all,
  Yes I think I have set myself an impossible task of understanding consciousness-I wish I were more like a cat, reactive to a situation. If I could remember well enough and started at the beginning I think I may get my head round some of it-although I was given the task of understanding the first line in a Stephen Hawking book and all I could do was laugh-that's tickled me now!!
  Ant-I tried the meditation-checked online and found one I have done in yoga class before-well it was very relaxing but I now know that my knees are still painfull and across the top of my back is sore/tender. The tablets I'm on have helped with the knee pain which is good. I shall use my '4head' stick on my shoulders-has anybody tried that 4head before-I find it great at sorting my headaches out-have used it on my lower back and knees and it does help.
  I have decided to try and put on upbeat music and comedy as this does help your frame of mind. I did watch '50 dead men walking' yesterday-about Ireland in the 80's and it was a true story and I did feel quite low afterwards. I seem to be very sensitive to books/films that strike a chord with me and they can affect me for days after. See this is what annoys me-is when I say something like that I think I sound a bit 'not right'.
  Then I don't want to talk about stuff!!!Grrrr
  Freckles xxx

• 01/10/2008 @ 05:00 Mebenji said

  

  Hello Freckles,

  
  I have no idea what a '4head' is. Please explain?

  
  & I haven't had Stephen Hawking's books in audio format, sent to me as yet - so what is the line? From "A Brief History of Time" I presume, or which book was it?

  To something more serious...Music - to me is absolutely essential, and can indeed effect mood. Some can relax, some can stimulate - I have these most basic categories of music when I feel the need, if I haven't got music playing already. It does compete with the audio books now though...I don't know a way around that though. & when I am working on the computer I can't actively listen - sometimes I haven't a clue what the sounds are now far away in the background, as in so much London fog..( :) sorry, I just figure everyone understands that reference.) However, even those times the noisy 'doof-doof' or crash'n'bash screaming or opera must be stopped!!! It does bother me considerably; could be useful to interrupt your Too-much-thinking, I suppose. Kind of like someone kicking you out of it though - not gentle or kindly at all. I'd rather interrupt these 'bad' thoughts more gently so I can at least reflect: "why now?" &/or record what I was thinking about to discuss with Dr Kat when I see her.

  & you know when there's a warning, like 'This may distress some viewers' or 'offend' or 'Viewers are advised to use discretion...' I tend to think "We'll if you're not upset/distressed/offended then there's something wrong with you." So, now I'm thinking that "50 Dead Men Walking" upsetting is NORMAL - I would hope that people would find something like that upsetting. If you watched that and were laughing like it was a comedy - that would be weird, even for me who laughs at horror movies. (but these are fiction - not documentary). But even with fiction, we can/will become emotionally involved (writers like when you do, you know. Shows they did their writing reasonably well.) with characters, plots and themes. It is normal too - I think it has something to do with empathy, and being able to understand another's point of view, their feelings and experiences. Most people learn when they are little about being aware of others feelings, a lot through stories, or that question "Well, how do you think you'd feel?" and then we can put ourselves in the other's shoes. If you couldn't do that - what would you be then? My answer is: not entirely human. You'd be someone who cared nothing for anyone other than yourself. Maybe you'd even not feel things very deeply yourself and need to go make yourself feel something to feel you were alive, and you might not care if your quest for feeling hurt others along the way (or you might not see when it does. Or like someone I knew - you might actually take pleasure in the pain of others).

  
  So, I'm glad you are a sensitive soul, with an intelligent mind, a wonderful wit and humour...it's all good! :) So much so, I'm gonna make you one of my Wall Friends, okay? (Even though I confuse your avatar with Cate's).

  
  ((hugs))

  
  -Mebenji

• 01/10/2008 @ 05:42 harmony said

  

  Hi,
  Jumping in on this one.

  4Head is a little methol stick to use to rub on to the forehead when you have a headache. It's a luxury item as far as I'm concerned - about £6 I believe for a teeny little bit of menthol stick. Used to be something similar - a menthol cone - about £2 and 4 times the size. They changed the name, changed the packaging, quartered the size, went big on TV ads and hiked up the price. Personally I think it was criminal.

  I know someone who never goes out without one. I have to say, Freckles, in my long history of knowing menthol stick users I have never heard of it being used on shoulders, hips and knees!! Does it work better than stuff like Arnica Gel or Voltarol Cream, do you know?......because if I thought for a minute that 4Head works on those parts, I'd overcome my anger at the manufactures exploitation of users and try it myself.

  Love Harmony

• 01/10/2008 @ 08:39 freckles said

  

  Hi hi hi-Mebenji...I do not have a clue what the 1st line of the Stephen Hawking's book is-just lots of big words put together that I didn't know!!I no longer have access to it either.
  Yes, I am sure it was ' A Brief History of Time'.
  The London Fog reference is either the 'pea soupers' or I'm guessing the noise of the city, or your own personal 'pea soupers'??
  I put music on to hush the noise in my head-you have just made me realize this.It does help me get physically active as well though, so I will let myself off that one. I rarely play music nowadays. I had read someones post about going to see/listen to an orchestra playing and I checked it out on 'youtube'. I shall, hopefully, be going in November. I'm not familiar at all with symphony orchestras or classical music. I have enjoyed it on the radio whilst driving..occasionally. I will try your gentle music approach to probe my thoughts and feelings. I think I have just made my mind busy by reading, music and films or surfing the internet. I have thought that even spending time on here is just another 'plaster' to cover and protect my mental wounds.
  Onto '4head'...it is as harmony says a stick(like a chunky lipstick) of menthol to stop headaches- it does advertise as a 'tension' headache buster. It didn't bring too much relief to the headache that accompanied my cold/flu thing I had though.
  I pay about £4.99 maybe from 'Wilkos' but at the rate I get headaches I don't like taking too many paracetamol. My son uses Voltarol Cream for his legs and it worked very well. I now just use the 4head on him and he's not complained yet.-I know I have used Voltarol but cannot remember if I found it any good-his is muscular pain mine is bone rubbing against bone(my knees )-ew yuk yuk!! My anti-depressants have worked tremendously as pain relief on my knees- I was having to take paracetamol and codeine for-so don't need to use the 4head as much.
  I have just looked at my 4head stick and it is tiny, harmony!! The robbing bleeders!!!I have had it for maybe 5 months and it gets used regularly-on my head, back, shoulders, knees and on my sons legs and down his back and across his shoulders.
  I have used a cheaper version but it's not as powerful as the 4head.
  I suppose it depends how severe your pains are-if you on heavy duty prescription painkillers it may only bring mild relief for a short time-I have just checked it out and the active ingredient is levomenthol 3.6g so if you find an alternative, maybe from a chemist it may be cheaper.
  I do sing it's praises and get people to try mine before they get a painkiller from me!!!
  Maybe if you got something you find works it's best sticking to it-I usually tell people to try something (or try mine)and offer to refund them if they don't get a benefit from it but that's a bit difficult on here!!
  Freckles xxx

  
  

• 01/10/2008 @ 09:09 harmony said

  

  HI Freckles. If you can made a shared 4Head last for 5 months I'm going to buy one. See how easyily I'm prepared to abandon my principles where pain relief is concerned! I never get headaches but will test it out everywhere else that I get pain. Don't have a Wilkos here (they are sellgin it £1 under recommended price)but what the heck - I'm worth £6! If it works on my feet I will be so happy.

• 01/10/2008 @ 10:25 ant said

  

  Do you have Chinese apothecary's in London? they have a whole range of menthol stickers from band aid sizes to half page sizes for backs and thighs and so on. I use them regularly and find that they are really effective - just the same I prefer to use nutmeg oil - smells somewhat like methol - Tiger Balm? and it is great for pain as it shrinks the size of the blood vessels.

  We have something here called migrainestick which is a little rollon which is magic on temples.

  Tiger balm on arthritic joints is pretty close to heaven I find.

  seeya antxx

• 01/10/2008 @ 11:02 harmony said

  

  Hi Ant, Thanks you for the idea. Never heard of menthol stickers but sounds like good news. I think I may know a Chinese shop locally so will check it out. Anyone in Uk who might want to check sites:

  http://www.chinesemedicineshop.co.uk/
  www.acumedic.com/shop

  Tiger balm has never done anything for me somehow but it is a few years now since I tried it so may it it another go. Best thing I've found is Arnica Gel and at time Arnica tablets - but taking Arnica tablets always brings the tears - clearly unblocks something but it is seldom at a convenient time.

  harmony X