Comments

• 24/09/2008 @ 12:34 UMxx said

  

  Hi HIMDarling, I don't think I understand but I don't really need to if this is something you don't want to share in detail - just as long as you know that there are others like me who are happy to just support you without needing details. Fear is a horrible emotion - very hard to counter. Hoping very hard for something to drive the fears away UM xx

• 24/09/2008 @ 18:43 HIMDarling612 said

  

  With the way I was hurt before, and the only other kind of relationship i'm used to being in with a guy, we were constantly fighting and he couldn't care less. Now I'm letting that affect the way I trust my boyfriend now, even though I know he would never hurt me I unintentionally create this atmosphere for myself and let myself think that he's mad at me or that he doesn't care, no matter what he does or says, I know that the guy I'm with now cares about me and I know that he would never do anything to hurt me, but with me constantly being used to being treated badly I'll get upset with him over hardly anything even though it's not something he did, It's something I did or didn't do, but I take it out on him.
  That probably made absolutely no sense but I think that pretty much takes the thought puts it in the car and drives it to the house.
  thanks--H612

• 25/09/2008 @ 11:11 UMxx said

  

  Actually H612 that made perfect sense to me - you are behaving in this relationship as you have "learnt" to behave before - but you are really very insightful to know this.

  So there needs to be a bit of "unlearning" on your part so that you can "be" with your new b/f and not return to the feeling of being with that other fellow who sounds pretty bloody awful.

  I just am not sure how you do this - could it be a mantra? Something that you can meditate and reflect on - or maybe an image or something that makes you conscious that he is someone who treats you decently.

  Iguess also it might help is you tell your boyfriend that it is okay if he notices to say something like hey H612 it's me and get you to look at him and get you back in the present.

  These are just ideas and if you have a professional you see then I would take their advice because all I am doing is just using my imagination.

  xx UM

• 25/09/2008 @ 17:59 HIMDarling612 said

  

  No, you're very insightful and I appreciate your advice very much, I am not seeing anyone professional so this sight is just about all I have.
  I haven't thought about using a mantra or meditating on it before, but that may be a good idea. I think that it may just develop to be something that I have to come to terms with and realize that he's not like the other guy. I'm glad you brought up the unlearning part, I didn't look at it like that, but now I think maybe I just need to bring myself to forget a lot of what I've been through. It's just that one thing someone may say to remind me of the situation I was in or something characteristic of this other guy that starts me on the thoughts that the guy I'm with now might be like the last one...
  It's just something I'll have to work on, thank you so much for helping me out and helping me realizing a lot of what I need to do, I really appreciate it.

• 26/09/2008 @ 02:08 Markus aka DeadSoul said

  

  i love you, no matter what if something is bothering you please tell me so we can get through it together ok? i wanna help however i can

• 26/09/2008 @ 09:50 UMxx said

  

  No worries H612 - and Hi Markus, I hope you are feeling okay in your self - sounds like Markus is a bit smitten and now would be a good time to talk through this :) you've already broken the ice.

  Yes part of it is coming to terms with it and the other bit is getting to handle it in a way that doesn't make you feel bad - just glad both of you sound so happy

  UM xx

• 26/09/2008 @ 18:50 HIMDarling612 said

  

  yea, thanks, a lot, UM. I haven't really had too much of a chance this week to talk to him about much without constant interruption...but we've decided that if we get to talk today, that we're going to talk it over.