you stupid piece of...

panther

Brick created on 30/08/2008 @ 05:21

Your brick story

I was doing her laundry. But I washed it on hot instead of cold. Or cold instead of hot. I don't know, all I know is that I was doing her laundry. And she came up to me, right in my face, and yelled at me.
Now, I've called myself a stupid piece of sh-- many times before, and many times since, and well, I'd gotten used to the verbal abuse by that time. But something just seemed a little ridiculous about this episode. She didn't tell me what setting to use. I was doing her a favor.
So, for the first time, I questioned her rationale for calling me names. Not because I thought I didn't deserve it, but because I imagined her saying that to a child. And I want children. So I knew it was over. That was the exact moment I knew the relationship wouldn't work, and I needed to get out. I stayed for another 6 months. If I had left then, I would have avoided the worst of it. I hate myself for not leaving then.

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Comments

30/08/2008 @ 10:16 ant said

Hey Panther - I am sorry that then end of the relationship was so traumatic and I am pleased that you are so strong and brave that you did leave the relationship. Don't hate yourself for finishing the relationship in 6 months - there is a reason in this I suppose - not for you to experience greater pain but for finishing something that needed to be finished. Maybe it will come at a time in the future that you will know that closure is more achievable because you did work to end it. Maybe in staying and enduring it you have been left with no lingering doubts. Rather than hate yourself - see the strength you have - a cause for celebration in some ways. I know it doesn't help the hurt now - but maybe it will be a turning point in achieving what you want to be - a good strong parent
antx
30/08/2008 @ 23:39 cherry said

Panther Hi,
When people experience verbal abuse in a relationship it often invokes feelings of shame , embarrassment , fear etc, and so often we justify the insults and patronising put downs.. it is very painful to be told by someone we love that we are shit etc, so when a little piece of self preservation such as the realisation of something as important as a desire to nuture your future children in a safe environment hits you, this can only be seen as a very posiitve decision.
I really do understand how difficult letting this relationship go must have been , i stayed in a physical and verbally abusive relationship for 5 years before i finally gained the courage to leave .
I hope the person who called you names finds the strength to ask themselves why they are how they are and find the courage to seek help.
I wish you strength and much much happpiness on your new journey..xx