Comments

• 30/07/2008 @ 08:38 UMxx said

  

  Hi FC, Waiting for calls? I'm not sure about the cycle but I guess if I was feeling like this it might mean that I was waiting for someone to fill up a space in me that I was uncomfortable in having. What do you think it is about for you?

  UMxx

• 30/07/2008 @ 11:27 Mebenji said

  

  Hi, I'm not so sure about 'co-dependance' myself - I think I may well have been there, done that, justn never really defined it, or exmaned it properly. Part of it, though, the me being dependant on someone else to always be there, to never leave me, to feel I needed 'em so much I would do more than was good for me to keep 'em around, even if they treated me like shit - that part I think I know - though how/if they depended on me I'm not clear about.

  I'd like to, so I could learn how NOT to...too. Ijt's bad; it hurts a lot when you've got to get out. Being in though, hourts, damages you more in the long run, so they are best avoided, or not kept going when you do see you're getting into one.

  It can be rather like emotional abuse.

  Take care FC.

  -Mebenji

• 30/07/2008 @ 20:22 fabulouscover said

  

  U-yea you are exactly right. I am waiting for someone to call so they can fill a void in me. I dont know where this void came from...maybe a broken family or past relationships breaking my heart or a low self-confidence. But whatever it is...I dont want to rely on someone else to fill that hole in me. I cannot rely on someone to make me happy because thats only a quick fix. I know if i learn to love myself and find a purpose to my life I will no long have this void. But I am not sure how to do this. Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to find my "purpose"? Or any thoughts on how to avoid relying on someone else to make me "happy"??

  I meant co-depend like i rely on someone way too much to fill a void. so i guess thats just DEpendant actually. But i have def been in co-dep relationships where we both rely on eachother way too much for happiness even though we eventually treat eachother like shit. I just dont want to have another relationship like that so i need to learn to love myself first. I dont know the first step to take!

• 30/07/2008 @ 20:23 fabulouscover said

  

  fill that hole = not sexual haha

• 31/07/2008 @ 01:10 UMxx said

  

  sometimes you might have to take a step back to see where you are now? You know that you aren't feeling okay where you are - but do you know why - some of this stuff is about healing the past - some of it is about recreating yourself around different ways to feel your spirit - what makes you feel good about yourself - then there is stuff about being able to comfort yourself, and knowing who you can trust. And none of this ever seemed to be linear in my experience - it is long and it is sometimes it is too hard to do more than breathe.

  I think I started at the point of hating so much about me that I had to start doing things for others so that I felt better about what I was contributing to the world. Really easy small acts of crazy loving kindness - smiling at elderly people, just trying harder to reach inside for others and being mindful that I was not the central person in the universe.

  The difference is that I came from a really low depressive place and I don't know if that is where you are at. I know that you have mentioned anxiety - I don't think it mattters where you start . Maybe make a list of the aspects of you that are good for others and yourself?
  UMxx