Comments

• 28/07/2008 @ 05:00 UMxx said

  

  Hey Anon,
  Not everyone knows how to start a conversation with someone that they are fond of - strangely some people prefer to have more demanding conversations with strangers. I don't think that friends can be assessed on what they ask - I feel you would know whether these people care for you deeply by the way they treat you as a person. Me? I am someone who always asks - happy to but out if I am told - but only if I am sure someone is safe. Everyone is a bit different.

  I wonder if you want to share why you made this brick. Are you concerned about your friends care for you?

  You can reply anon if you wish to.

  UM xx

• 29/07/2008 @ 06:29 Anonymous said

  

  I'm not really sure why I made it actually. I know some of the people that I call friends care but it just seems fake at times. I just seem to always come in second to something or someone else in their lives but I do my best to put their needs first-especially if I can tell that something is wrong. And yes i know I can't expect them to always put me first and that I shouldnt always put them first but I do. And maybe they aren't as observant as I am or maybe I just hide it better then i think but it would be nice to get that dark side of me out in the open. And their are like 2 people who do know and even if there are new injuries-nobody says anything and then I just question how much they do care.

• 29/07/2008 @ 09:59 UMxx said

  

  Thanks for replying anon. It could be that you are a brilliant performer - so good that people don't really pick up that you are in a dark place. And putting others first ahead of you and being observant of others probably means that you are really tuned into your feelings and you can see it in others but maybe you don't pay much attention to yourself.

  If you were your own best friend, what is it that you would do to help you? I know it is a hard question but when we are in a black place we are often the only ones who know and can get to our feelings - and often we don't want to so we put on a show for the world.

  How scary would it be to get your friends together for coffee and just tell them a little bit of what's happening - you don't have to tell them the whole life story just a little bit. Would that be possible? And if you want to practice here - what is the little bit that you might tell them?

  Thinking of you UM xx

• 30/07/2008 @ 07:09 harmony said

  

  Hi An

  Perhaps the friends are waiting for you to trust them enought to tell them, without the need for questioning, which they will be sensitive enough to understand could be intrusive.

  I pick up that you are saying you want people to notice the cuts/scars and ask questions to prove they care. Do they care for you other ways?

  Seeing cuts on people can be very difficult and it can be distressing for other people and difficult to know what to say, especially if you've noticed before and said something and another cut appears soon after. It can seem like the time and concern is a reward for the cutting and that can make interactions very complex, and seldom equal.

  You might think this is mad, but once I worked with someone and we agreed that if she wanted to talk to me she'd use a large red felt tip pen instead of a razor, or whatever, and come and show me. She got my time and attention and did not get another ugly scar on her arm. Is there noone you could try something like this with ?

  
  All the best
  xH