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Rest in peace.

godiekthx
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Brick created on 24/07/2008 @ 10:40

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I had to bury a good friend of mine today and it was one of the hardest things I've ever gone through. What made it so hard was being at the funeral, surrounded by the people that helped kill him. He needed help. He needed to get clean and you basically stuck the needle in his arm. You partied with him all the time and did drugs with him countless times... but what I don't understand is, how could you just leave him to die when he's laying there overdosing? HOW COULD YOU JUST LET HIM DIE?! What kind of person could do this to another human being????

If not for Sean, I would be dead. In a few other bricks, I explain how I had a mental breakdown and went suicidal. An ex boyfriend of mine slept with a girl in front of me and I had taken every drug I could find. I wanted to die. I tried to die. I would have killed myself easily that night if not for Sean sitting in that hotel closet holding me for hours. Out of the whole room of people, he was one of the only people that cared about me and looked after me without asking for anything in return. He just held me there as I kicked and screamed and cried and wouldn't let me go. He saved my life and none of his friends could do the same for him. They don't even deserve to know such a wonderful person. This isn't fair. He didn't deserve to die. He did so much for this world.

He told me he wanted to stay clean and go to college and asked if I would go to culinary art school with him so he wasn't alone. He told me how wonderful I was and he was so pure hearted. My last memory of him was him pouring his heart out to me, telling me how he's tired of everyone he loves leaving him and how he just wants someone to care about him when all the partying is said and done. He said people are fake. He was so sad. I can't help but cry every time I remember how helpless he was that night. I wanted to be his best friend and help him through everything. I guess he lost his will to try and that is exactly what scared me away. I didn't want to lose him to drugs but in the end, everyone lost him to drugs.

He was a loving, caring, wonderful person and this world will be much glimmer without him.

I find it sad that he was only 17 and he died on the 17th. Not only that, but his favorite color is purple and our school color is purple. I believe Kamiak to be the beginning of his destructive path towards drugs. I wish I could fix everything.

Tags:

death friend drugs killed

Comments

  • 24/07/2008 @ 11:03 Overseas said
    Overseas

    Hello godiekthx,

    This is dreadful, I feel so sorry for both of you. My thoughts are with you.

    Os

  • 24/07/2008 @ 18:14 Sehquethel said
    Sehquethel

    :{

    I wish you didn't have to fix anything.

    I wish I was closer.

    I wish I could help you

    And be a bit more than soulless text...

    I wish I could show you how much I care,

    And have it actually mean something big.

  • 25/07/2008 @ 10:03 unionmaid said
    unionmaid

    Hello godiekthx,

    I am really very sorry for the passing of your friend. I can't imagine in all honesty how it feels to lose someone who had kept you safe when you were feeling so low - well I do my best to imagine but am not quite sure I do the feeling justice. Right now I am sending you my warmest wishes and hopes for you to be comforted in your sadness.

    As for fixing this situation, well all we can do is try to make the world less dysfunctional somehow so that the Sean's of the world lose hope. I wish I knew the answer but I don't want to give up hope that we can do better than what we have now.

    Thinking of you UM xx

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