Comments

• 21/02/2008 @ 23:24 younger said

  

  Appreciate yourself for who you are? An extrememly efficient, resourceful, funny, warm, busy, clever, ballsy kind of girl? we don't all have to be arm candy.....

• 23/02/2008 @ 11:41 persempreblue said

  

  Thank you for your thoughts. I do like me but that doesn't seem to make any difference in another being seriously attrracted or interested in me or who I am.

• 23/02/2008 @ 15:13 younger said

  

  Can you give it time? These things always happen when you least expect them too. I am sure things will work out for you, you are not unwanted, just undiscovered.

• 24/02/2008 @ 11:13 persempreblue said

  

  thank you younger, you are generous and encouraging. Will be fascinating ot see if any men are willing to make comment about his issue. many of my friends find themselves in similiar situations

• 29/02/2008 @ 17:27 creativepro said

  

  Don't give up. I felt the same way 4 years ago after some bad relationships. Have you tried posting your profile on online dating sites (Eharmony, Love.com)? This is where I met my fiance and we are heading down the altar in April. Men are interested in not simply the outer appearance but the inside soul as well. They want someone whom they can communicate with intellectually and emotionally, and enjoy one another's company. You have many positive attributes which will attract a future mate and if you exude a confident positve attitude, this will show through and make him admire you even more. I believe that there is someone for everyone and it is just a matter of time until you will find the right person. Whether you are looking for your soul mate or simply a casual companion, believing in yourself and being happy with who you are will make the difference in finding the right person.

• 01/03/2008 @ 10:54 persempreblue said

  

  thank you creativepro, your story does provide some hope. I wonder though, why is it that so many people feel confidence equals attraction. I wonder that many more people cannot appreciate the not so confident and what is it that we are supposed to feel confident about. I can feel confident in most areas of my life.. vocational, as a parent, as a friend etc.. is it so bad to feel less confident in romance.. I find such things intriguing. I personally can be attracted t oa man this is not super confident.. just lie to see a big heart. cheers

• 03/03/2008 @ 14:29 younger said

  

  I think it is being confident that you don't have to have a man in your life to be happy - that's all - certainly not in all areas of life as I don't know too many of those!

  In my experience, I have always found that men are not attracting to 'needy' or 'clingy' women and if they are, they soon tire of them.... that's the sort of confidence I mean.
  

• 03/03/2008 @ 19:46 Gigagnat said

  

  This so resonates with me, I could have written it. We just want to be wanted. Sometimes, though, it really does feel like too much to ask for. I'll be watching for answers to this myself. Thanks for posting it.

• 04/03/2008 @ 21:21 Narziss said

  

  Hello Persempreblue - you did ask what men are looking for so I thought I could at least answer that. Men are like women, no two are the same and we're all looking for something different - and even different things at different times, mothers, lovers, caregivers, partners, you name it - when the need arises, so does the desire. I guess for men, and for women, if we don't like ourselves then it's pretty hopeless trying to find someone that will do something that even we wont, I've always found the person in the mirror the biggest challenge in my life but I've come to terms with that and have figured out that to like myself is a prioity, and to be liked by others is a bonus. Good luck with the person in the mirror, I'd really spoil and take care of her first, and it sounds like it's well overdue.

• 04/03/2008 @ 21:51 roze said

  

  Hey Narziss - think you are new here - welcome - what a truly enabling and wonderful comment!

• 05/03/2008 @ 02:22 persempreblue said

  

  Thank you Younger, I agree with your comment. I myself however am a confident, independent person, never needy or clingy. I have had partners get angry because I dont "need" them, amm considered too independent. I feel it is better to want to be with someone not need them. I also don't need aman in my life ot be happy but that doesn't mean I do not enjoy a close relationship with an emotionally healthy man.

  Narziss, thank you for a voice from the other side, yes I understand no two men are alike however many have told me that appearance is paramount to them and that they are not attracted to women over 40 or with a few extra pounds. I accept this as their personal right but also wonder if many people do not wish to admit this is a reality we all have to face, if not looking like a model and in possession of large amounts of money andtime to keep massive focus on looks. I beleive many lonely people are lonely becuase they are not attracted too many very wonderful human beings.

• 06/03/2008 @ 11:03 roze said

  

  We do live in an era that focuses far too much on external image - you sound like a really amazing person - and you are right - it is better to choose to be with someone rather than need them (that is called dependency which is totally unhealthy).

• 06/03/2008 @ 21:04 Narziss said

  

  Hello again, and thank you for your kind comments. Went to a workshop last night on anxiety and stress and the teaching was that we had three ways to get it out of our system. Acting out, language, or somatisation (burying it in our body) so I guess using this form - language - is the best of all. Long may we use it before it too becomes a redundant process in today's fast pace of living.

• 06/03/2008 @ 21:10 roze said

  

  Narziss - amen to that!

• 08/08/2008 @ 00:05 Theresa said

  

  The right person will come to you. Focus on looking after you and then your children. Do your best for you and them. If you get lonely seek out your friends and family. Make your life the way you want it, not how you think it should be or how someone else thinks it should be. Don't settle for second best in a man just because you're lonely. The right person should enhance your life.