Drowning in debt

matahari

Brick created on 13/01/2008 @ 05:48

Your brick story

My husband and I met and married 5 years ago after a whirlwind courtship. I love him dearly, but he has a problem saying no to himself when he goes behind my back to get loans around the holidays and birthdays. Why can't he stop and why is he refusing to go to a debt counselor w/me? I'm beside myself on this because no amount of talking to him makes him listen to me. He says it stems from him growing up poor. But what he refuses to open his eyes to is he's driving us into the poorhouse!

Tags:

Comments

13/01/2008 @ 23:30 roze said

Matahari
I have not seen you post brick before - welcome here. I grew up poor too and understand that your husband wants to believe he is no longer in that place. I have some questions if you don't mind - who is he treating? what sorts of things does he buy? what is his response when you talk with him? And how far are you in? Earlier this year i owed more money than i expected to earn in a lifetime - what a fool - now mostly out of debt (and no assets much either)....
THinking of you!
14/01/2008 @ 00:43 matahari said

Thx for commenting. My husband has this obsession w/guitars and guitar equipment. He really can't play at all. What he DOES know is chorus notes from three songs. So that's usually what he gets loans for. In all, our debt is about $25-30 thousand dollars. When I talk to him, he'll agree w/me about the debt we owe and tell me he wants to be out of it too. But when it comes time to actually DO something about it...he won't do it cos he always has an excuse for me. I really want to go to a credit counselor, but when I talk to him about it, he has excuses for not going. Thx for thinking of me. It's nice someone out there understands. :)
14/01/2008 @ 07:38 roze said

I guess you have seen the article on debt in useful stuff and the couple of talkabouts on this? It really does sound as if he has some kind of addiction - not with debt perhaps - but with the need to believe he can afford anything he wants. A credit counselor may help sort out the finances but i wonder if he has other stuff he needs to talk about? Has he any idea just how stressed this is leaving you?
26/01/2008 @ 19:08 Thiefree said

What a horrible situation to be in... he needs to open his eyes to what he's doing. This is something you guys need to talk about, confront, and deal with... something I'm sure you already know. I hope you can help him to see what's happening.