Most of the time i think i am pretty lucky. My family are cool, even fun. But sometimes I am disappointed by them. I think they understand me and then they show that they really don't. I wanted to study art for two months and gave up my job. They all, to a person, think that i am very , very stupid.

Are we really just on our own in world without even a family to love and care dfor us whatever?

Hey stucklikeglue,

I remember picking up a book called My Family and other beasts when I was a young kid - by the next decade I tried a book called Families and how to survive them.

I have settled that as children within families we are introduced to a role and it is really difficult to get out of it.  My role in my family (as the youngest of 4 with 17 yrs to my oldest sibling) was to manage the mood.  The generational gap of the 70's, the shift in social attiutuds - these would set all sorts of tensions and arguments as my family was as mad as anyones and with a strong family identity around politics education and work.  I am still the person in the family who is the peacemaker and creates the events for the extended family gatherings.  It is my role - though I have broken away from the families expectation of political subscription, religion, work and  education expectations.  I feel that I don't find the role of connector and relationship builder so onerous - I love my siblings although we are so different  - and I know they love me - but sometimes we still get into heated disagreements.

Perhaps your family is struggling with the choice you have made to study art as it is outside of how they see members of you family working and fitting in to particular social structures?   

But to call you stupid for studying art - well shame - what a wonderful calling and how brave you are to pursue these studies and give up your job.  No one knows where we will end up and what opportunities will just present themselves to you.  Sounds great that you are able to do this.

 I don't know how old you are - but sometimes it doesn't make much of a difference - especially to parents - we are always there kids and they always worry.  My mother's last words were to rouse on one of my brother's for teasing me.  I still smile about this.  They will either have to accept that you are able to make your own decisions or create a divide.  Hope it is the former:)

with best wishes

UM x 

Hello SLG,

I guess the one thing that we learn about some families is that concern often comes over as judgement rather than care. I am wondering whether there is one member of your famiy that you feel more able to talk with? Perhaps taking them to your favourite gallery or exhibition and asking them to share what inspires you may help? Let us know how things go. Take care roze

Oh mercy!  I don't ever want to be blinkered and obstinant.  And I am already a parent!

Hey Stucklikeglue, This would be my worst nightmare - I want my kids to be able to think for themselves but I don't want to let them just do what they want to do - I think there is a difference in raising good citizens.  

I don't know whether leaving it alone is going to be a long term solution but perhaps it is a great opportunity as it gives you an opportunity to prove you make good decisions for your self even though you might be not the decisions that your family would want you to make.   

Is your family anti the art course for any particular reason? Is it about art? or a change in career or something else? 

 UM xx