Hello all, 

This is  a problem for many people who have a mental health problem and holiday time, or indeed may have lost their jobs to due their illness, or their illness is exacerbated by the loss of a job - how to fill the time while feeling so ill, unhappy and such? 

I am thinking of this in relation to Nipper's problem, which I am struggling to confront myself - I'm so bloody lazy! I can think of all sorts of things I should NOT be doing with my time when I am feeling particularly depressed, or just rather unable to find any 'get up and go' to get up and go anywhere. So I'm wondering about strategies for for these times, what things would help rather than invite 'unpleasantness' (to put it mildly, rather euphemistically) into our mood, thoughts and feelings? Nipper says walking didn't work for her, because it permitted too much thinking room - granted that is a risk if you aren't also able to pay attention to the world around you while you walk. Maybe that's where it went wrong for her, I don't know. I used to walk, but now it causes me considerable pain (which depresses me). Can't keep my balance for a bicycle either, by the way, otherwise would love that I think, if I could find a safe place for a legally blind person to ride.

I wanted to open this up to our general BWW community, hoping our discussion can help many people, regulars and visitors alike.

-Mebenji

Thanks Wolfie,

This isn't only about me - I hope this TA well be able to help others here and now, and into the future, who are looking for strategies. These strategies are best planned for while things are good - so when things go bad, you have them already waiting to put into practice.

I do use music a lot. I need music like I need oxygen.

I have music which is lively and bright, some fast some slow, orchestral to solo instrumentation, classical and jazz and all those singer/songwriters I have liked over the years, (of the singers at least 98% are women). I know very well what I want for whether I am down, and want a lift - gotta be careful not to go for too much. Oddly, if it is extremely upbeat it feels too incongruous with me mood. I need to ease myself up, gradually.

-Mebenji

Yeah, wouldn't it just? I'd carry around my bear, take her everywhere. If you took your doona to the beach, maybe people would assume you were homeless, sleeping there, and as usual, do their best to think of you as an aberration of their own creation.  hmph, shrug and walk on by. Personally, I don't know which would be worse, that or looking weird and knowing that's what they think. Maybe that would be better - at least they'd seen you and thought 'weird Person', 'instead of drunken, homeless bum beneath my notice.'

Me too. Have you given your children some options for when they are low, anxious, angry, etc? Maybe you can help them develop strategies now, while they are young, and if they ever need them, the strategies will be there, or they will have learned from you how to look for options, and ways of coping and expressing their feelings.

Sleep is so very, wery nice - it also tends to be an escape for me too. I like the protected way I feel all wrapped up and warm. Sometimes I feel afraid to come out. I fear those feelings that led me to my comfort will return.

As for walking, (if my feet didn't get so painful) another problem I have is when I am not so alert, feeling too tired, too little energy to even care about being careful - that's a problem. I do have to force myself to be careful, if only because it would distress whoever is driving or riding in a car if they do run me over. I think that needs to be taken into account if your mood is just so low that you just don't care. Oh, but if I could, I'd take myself to a park, where there are not so many cars, more birds and trees, get some lunch along the way. I may not feel like eating before I go, but while out, and just because I don't have to make it for myself, I am able to eat, even enjoy it.

Thanks UM, you're a marvel and a gem,

(((Hugs))) -Mebenji

Hey Younger,

A doona is I think the equivalent of a duvet.  Feather filled traditionally and of late sometimes wool or artificial fibre filled - and in a cover.

I don't know why but it is what we call them in Australia - we would have borrowed the word and product from somewhere.  Makes me wonder if we need a regional dictionary on the Wall - I am often wondering what is being spoken of too?  :)

In terms of the difference between feeling unwell due to a mental state and a physical state.  I don't know that I am the one who can be too much help.

They are in some ways quite distinct in the way that they feel but at times mental unwellness can become physical too so it can be present in the body as well.  Hm don't know that attempt was terribly elevating.

Okay take depression, for me it feels like the feeling is bigger than my physcal body, it makes me feel like the body I have is not directly under my control but is just there.  I don't feel like I am seeing through my eyes and able to take in what is there - maybe sometimes viewing through a monitor with a fog covering everything.  The sense of touch is diminished while the emotional feeling is really high - especially when it comes to pain.  Pain of depression hits me in the sternum, palms and wrists.  Not the same sort of pain that comes from muscles or ligaments or bones though - it is a grinding dull pain that makes me what to scrape off my skin.

Oh help someone I don't think I am doing a good job in trying to explain this!

It is a great question Younger - but I'd be happier if it was easier to answer - off for a moment of contemplation and to hang out washing.  :) 

I've just got some Spannish/Latin/South American music on the radio - you know, if that doesn't encourage a lethargic person to at least want to move...I'm not sure anything would. The brass, the drums - the rhythms, the exhuberant vocals! Not what I would start with, myself, but later when I've gotten up and need to eat, yes, then, something like this is good. I don't play it as loud as it would be in concert - it is the feel of the music, the impulse it provokes in me, it says "Move it. Smile. Shake it. Clap your hands. Stamp  your feet, & dance! Even in my mind, it moves me.