There are a whole range of feelings that make me questions how I manage my emotions and how I feel about being an emotional being. 

I have strong feelings of fear - the strongest bring me to a standstill, I seem to have a whole list of characteristics that I loathe or despise, but what really makes me feel the biggest struggle is recovering from losing my temper.  Not just being angry but losing my temper - I get scared by it and often find my self being physically ill afterwards.

I don't feel comfortable with anger and shy away from angry people.  Do other have similar reactions to strong emotions? 

Something that someone suggested to me that I found useful - it you were sitting down having a conversation with anger and fear what you say and /or ask "them"?  What questions would you ask each "character?  Would you talk to them together or seperately? - perhaps something to think about or ponder over

The "technique" as it was shared with me was a way to think about behavious as not being who we are but something we have "picked up" as part of our lifes journey  ie characters in our life story and that one way to problem solve around them is to imagine them as external characters which we can question, agrue, discuss "their" interests, intentions - I have found it a "playful" way to problem solve when I get stuck. 

For example: I might might ask "high expectations" (one of my postings) questions like- How come you have come back to visit me this week? and/or What have I done in the past that discourages your visits? & then role play in my head a response on behalf of "high expectations".  I might simply say "get out of my life"   My councellor sometime "plays" the role of the questioner while I sit in the head space of the problem attempting to answer the questions.  ....... sorry if this does not make any sence - it might sound strange but it seems to work for me (& it can be a bit of fun)

 A reference that explains the technique can be found www.dulwichcentre.com.au  articles to read;  "Externalising - commonly asked questions"

lam

Anger is a feeling that I've learned not that long ago to live and express. I was more keen to keep it inside of me under control rather than express it. I've never had the right to be in anger, because "there was no reason I could be so." Period. Even as a teenager, I couldn't revolt against my parents. I had to obey because "parents know better than childen what is right or wrong." In my case I can say today that this later affirmation was largely wrong, but the patriarch did everything he could to prevail.

So by not knowing how to deal with anger and to defend my rights against the potential inequity at its root, I've shied away many times. Too many times. Now I'm learning to deal with anger and what causes it in me. It's not a done job yet, but I'm moving forward at my pace.

HI UM

Yes I am happy to play with how a discussion might work with "fear" on the wall but could we make it in a couple of weeks?  I will then be in a different head space and I will then set up a seperate postings for anyone who is interested to follow

lam

Thanks for this TA. It is very interesting. And I think I may be going a bit down the route of YankeeBob and I know that very soon I have to change. I must start showing my feelings, my positive ones as well as the negative ones. My friends and family are going to suffer otherwise.