Congratulations summer76 on your first TA.

I have been here a couple of months longer than you and I had a time when I felt like my arrival together with the other incredibly shy and retiring aussies might have felt like a new gang had arrived in town and we were it.  I was overly sensitive about feeling entirely comfortable about arriving here on the Wall and making others feel uncomfortable by taking up space.  I got over it when I thought about how very welcoming and supportive and it helped when I asked direct and people were quite straightforward about it.  

These days I admit I do think about ways of introducing friends to the Wall and how I might do this without feeling like I can be easily spotted and therefore feel vulnerable.  This became more significant when I talked to a mate who does know me better than most and sent me an email and talked about how Unionmaid was possibly the best person I had in my life.  So much for anonymity - I was sprung but so it has stuck in my mind.  I don't want to be selfish about the Wall but I don't also want to be so well known in all areas of my life.  This is a challenge for me.  I have thought about axing this avatar - like a soap opera axes characters all fo the time - but then I also have found people on here that I have a tremendous regard for and don't really want to go through some virtual community metamorphisis.  And still I wonder about how I might encourage others to find a place here is they want.  

Of late I have been looking at other web sites promising support - but none of them are really up to scratch in the way that this place runs like a reasonable neighborhood compared to a bunch of alley cats - some of the posts on a site called Post Secret really challenge a basic sensitivity.  Good for you for expressing how you feel about being here.  I don't think it is creeping (I think we call this crawling) I think you have a wonderful handle on paying very deserved compliments to the community.  UM x 

Hello Emily! Glad you are able to join us sometimes.

Interesting idea, to send a brick anonymously - only problem I see with that is if I was not a member already, and had not yet heard of BWW, and being the suspicious sort of character I am if I receive an email form someone I don't know - I will think it could be a malicious, possibly a someone attempting a con, or just to get a reply, a click even is enough apparently for some mongrel to get access to your computer, your info, etc. They at least know the address they sent the email to is an active address and might just include it in a list, which could then be sold. Next thing I know....from spam to identity fraud, theft, viruses, trojans, you name it....probably stuff I don't even know about. Would I click a link I don't recognise in an email from someone I don't know? I don't think so.

I was trying to post here before too and went and clicked refresh (ooops!). So I lost everything I had typed. I was trying to do my spell-check before posting is all. Those things are too close together on my toolbars.

I've been thinking about this though too, how good it is, and how challenging and sometimes difficult because I fear saying something that may harm rather than help. I have been wondering how this site has managed to evolve unlike others I have seen, much as Summer mentions. I don't want it to get too big either. It is already difficult to keep up with new bricks. It's almost like I wish I'd thought to suggest a "New Bricks" page which would have to be updated at the very least once a week, if not more frequently than that. Of-course then it would be up to me to go and check it out like I try now to check each of my friends regularly, to see if they have added more bricks on their personal profile page.

I was thinking, I couldn't have shared what I have here, so much, so honestly if not for the people, the respect they show, the trust as well. And that I can write it all. I've tried to use a microphone to record a letter to someone I know who cannot read print anymore at all, and I can't do it. I probably speak only a hundredth of what I am able to write. Even in therapy, or with my closest friends. In a sense this is more a real place, where I am more the real me, than so called real life.

There are people here I feel so comfortable with, I would trust them with my identity. I hope they know they could trust me. Having interacted with the gay community, and worked for Queensland Aids Council I well understand about confidentiality and about how hard it is for people to open up and talk about their deepest concerns. Also from my own experience of having to seek help with psychological problems while feeling deeply vulnerable and afraid and so unsure of the road you're on - having no clue what to expect or hope for. Safe spaces like this are of enormous value.

There was a little more, I can't quite get at now - somehow else, some when else it will again resurface. Just the bit about "the Kindness of Strangers" and wondering where would any of us do without it? What would we be without it?

((hugs)) to you Summer, UM, Emily and tam - hell, I'll get round to hugging everyone you know. At least I don't think anyone has ever lost their arms due to hugging!

-Mebenji