Lonely…. Empty….waiting for you

This sentence simply explains me and the feeling I live with ….

I came here only after finding my self lonely for years … although I have all my family and friend surrounding me with their care and love … but I still feel that something is missing in my life … all my friends are saying that it is love what is missing …. But what is love and how can I fined love … I always say that love fiends us and we can never ever fined love …. Every one says that I’m wrong and trying to avoid love on purpose coz I’m afraid of it …

 I’ll paint all the walls …. Till you fined me … or I fined you ….

lonelyme Hi. My experience in life has been that the moment you stop looking for love, it comes and gets you. After my first marriage broke up, I spent 15 pretty lonely years, never happy with myself and always seeking that elusive love, always to no avail, generally fairly unhappy, feeling unfulfilled. I did a lot of work on myself and improved my self esteem, felt better about life in general and myself in particular. I had no need for someone elses love, I felt great.  The next thing I knew, I was dating a beautifull woman who was maddly in love with me and is now my wife of 6 years.

My error was that I failed to keep up the good work on myself and I've had a bit of a relapse. The big white wall is helping me with that.

Hi ejcutter… thanx for sharing your experience … 

Yeah it makes difference when you care about you self first … today I had a little chat with my colleague about love and who finds who first and she said “It’s very true... Love finds you... And when it finds you... “You feel that you totally lost yourself””... and then added …..“How many times we forget ourselves when we take care of everyone else accept ourselves... When you ignore yourself... Why others should think that they have to take care of you... Because you didn’t make them understand that you are precious for URSELF... Make them understand that they can’t live without you...”

I’m working on my self for years now … but after him …I can’t find love neither love could find me L

Roze…

“Him” is the one who I loved ….

He was the first and only love I’ve ever had ….

I learned every thing with him … I was his kid … his angel …

But … he is her husband now …. Our dreams of having our little Sara went to her …

And I’m left alone … without him and my little dream Sara…..

I was 18 when I loved him … 25 when he left me …. And now I’m 31 and still lonely….

Could you imagine the years of pain and loneliness….

The great loves in our lives are so very difficult to move on from. It was only when i was married to someone else that i realised that i had not moved on from the previous person i was living with. In some senses a lot of my marriage was working through the pain of that relationship ending even though i was the one to bring it to a close.

Yet it is never one person in our lives that can carry all our hopes and dreams. Somehow we have to find ways to let others in - and it is only when we let go of what blocks us from doing that. It is like something ends - comes to a stop in time - and yet closure can take much much longer to achieve - a deep psychological sense that you can shut a particular door - not slam it closed but let it slide gently back into its frame.

Perhaps it would be helpful to start imagining a different future for yourself rather than let the past crowd out its possibilities? How do you feel you can find closure on your relationship with him?