HI there Harold... I saw your post and it has really resonated with me.. I too found myself in a similar situation after i divorced my husband, except I was used to him sorting the finances so when he was gone, I just spent and spent and spent to make me feel better without thinking about the consequesnces which ultimatly ended in bailiffs and... well it got messy.

My biggest problem was that I felt really ashamed of the mess I had gotten into, and weirdly, that made me spend more!!!!!! Eventually i went to the cccs which is a debt charity (my mum made me go!) and it was actually a huge releif to get it off my chest, hiold my hand up and say 'yep.. i f*cked up' they were actually really supportive and even spole to my credit card agencies (all three of them!) and helped to make the repayments more manageable. I am still in debt, but I can see light att the end of the tuynnnel now.

Why dont you speak to a debt charity before your wife? Get a repayment plan in order and get a strategy together. Then go to her and explain what has happened and show her that you are doing something abot it.  She will be angry I am sure, but may be less so if she sees that you are doing something to sort it out... 

The main thing is dont ignore it - I did and it got me into a lot more trouble... debt is a grusome disease, but there is a way out. I really feel for you - keep us posted as to hown you get on

best of luck - sleeplessk xx 

hi harold, I'm not sure if you realise just how big a step you've made by posting that here.  it may be anonymous, and you still have the wife to brief, but many, many people wouldn't get that far. They're in denial - you are not.

If you are sure that you cannot manage your cc repayments without real hardship (you're gonna have to open those bills!) then I agree with sleeplessknight that cccs is an excellent place to start.

 But if you have any sort of "money clinic" near you which helps you sort out your finances for free and gives you a shoulder to lean on (NOT a company which charges you a fee), then go for it.  Your Citizens advice bureau might help.

 Also try The Money Secret by Rob Parsons (bookdepository.co.uk £5.26) for helping you think about debt, and The three most important lessons you've never been taught by Martin Lewis (play.com £3.49) for giving you ideas about how to save and manage money.

Finally, try the forums at www.moneysavingexpert.com for more e-encouragement and ideas from others with money problems.

You will make it, one way or another.  Just don't give up now on sorting out urgently.

CameronD