How awful! Do you have to see him, is he seeing the kids? /you must be so angry. Losing someone that you thought you were building a life with is terrible. Is there no hope for you both? How are the kids reacting, do they understand what's going on? Sorry for all the questions, but you sound so upset.

Dear x1y2z3, how do you feel about him really?  Search through your heart and see if you can make a decision.  If you feel that he was the one for you, then you should prepare yourself for grieving which will hurt - but rest assured that you will come out the other end.  If you feel that really he wasn't all that - then get your head round the fact that you don't miss 'him' you miss the idea of him - basically, it was easier when you had a man around.

I know these are hard choices, but a month has past and you need to move on for the sake of your children - they love you so much and you love them.  day by day and step by step you will get stronger and you will look back on this time as a dark time and one from which you learnt a lot about yourself and others.  You will see light, i promise. mx 

Bless you, you sound so sad. I am so tempted to say that if he is so shallow then he is not worth having, and you would be better off without him. But that doesn't take into account the fact that you have shared your life with him and given him two children. As you say, it probably won't last. If you are uncomfortable with your weight, maybe you could join a slimming club and 'reduce' a little, which will help you love yourself a little more. You will also meet new friends there who share the same issues. He will probably tire of the 'new toy' and  come crawling back at some time, but then you may be a new 'you', and might even be able to tell him to p*** off! The same thing happened to my sister last year, and her ex has had three different 'new toys' since then, and they don't last. He has hinted to me that he made a big mistake, and would love to come back to my sister, but she has divorced him. She says that she wouldn't want him if his a*** was dripping with diamonds! Sorry to be injecting a little humour here, but sometimes it helps. While she misses being married, she has said that she doesn't miss him. So maybe the other lady who posted was right when she said that it could be the idea of him that you long for and not the person himself. It is so demoralising to be left for someone else and being left alone with little children must be so frightening for you. I'm sure things will get better for you. Just love yourself, you are a child of the universe and we all have our own lovable qualities. Just tell yourself that you are too good for him anyway, which is probably right. I do hope you will feel better soon, and let us all know how you are doing. love, Babushka xxx