I had just returned from working in Malaysia for a few weeks - had been running training courses and picked up a local bug that ended up turning into pleurisy - oh and my first child was a little under 5 months. 

I was sent up to my in laws for some "rest" out shopping one day my very gregarious baby made friends with the shop assistants in one of the shops I looked in.  They picked her up and I kept looking in the shop but then left - pushing the pram.  I got through a few shops and just sat down with a coffee when I thought she was being very quiet - empty pram!

She was fine and the shop assistants were laughing but I was a little uncertain of myself.  It's okay now I laugh at myself - I think I was still thinking about too many things and not getting enough oxygen. 

Oh Um I would have had a major panic attack!

I've done many. many silly things  but this was probablythe silliest. I was   gardening around the swimming pool and  fell in  fully clothed - it was winter.

 Then  last week at the supermarket checkout I started to  write ' asparagus' instead of my name  .Had been discussing the price of asparagus so it wasn't totally random- but it's a worry as I've done this before .

I had my middle daughter in the UK, and had a great big huge pram - wonderful - but could not take it in shops - the first time I went out with her in the pram I went to Boots the Chemist and when I got home I realised that I had left the baby and the pram outside the chemist - for someone with very short funny legs I ran like a rodent on rollerskates all the way back to get her.  The kids have never let me forget this - still bring it up every so often.  Sigh.  I should never have told anyone, that's what! 

Caught the wrong train once from Townsville to Cairns - as it started to move, found my mistake, and threw my suitcase to two obliging chaps, and jumped onto the little 'porch' thing that trains used to have at the end of the carriages.

Got into a drinking game with Pernod and cigars - still remember the head I had after that...

Once I went to the doctorI took off my coat in the waitingroom- sat down and started to read the magazines. After a little while I noticed the doctors children playing in the waitingroom and I got a little irritated by the noise they made and asked them could they not play somewhere else?

They did remove themselves- and it still wasn`t my turn. Went out to see what happened and met the nurse- who was also the doctors wife. She asked ME: what are you doing here? I, a bit irritated of course said: Waiting for the doctor!

Well, she said: we have moved the consultation to another address- have you not got that message? and added: this is our livingroom!

• There are so many I do not know where to begin. Try these for starters...

• Decades ago, been a Bxxxxx awful best man wearing a salmon pink suit. It was short notice, the only one available that fitted - ok - scarred for life.

• Wandering around the more interesting parts of Amsterdam in the wee hours of the morning all by myself  - and thinking that the gorgeous Moroccan looking guys in darkened doorways saying 'sugar, sugar' were just being nice.........took me a few more months of growing up to drop my jaw! Ok I was very young and very very green. For the record I did not imbibe of either. Oh how the young are so brave (foolhardy). Would not do it now!

• Going to work and finding I had put on two pair of under pants. An accident but you cannot be too careful at my age....! Made the mistake of telling someone. For a while I was known as Two Pants XXXXX

UM, how'd you go cutting veges one handed? And your shoelaced - did you figure that one out? :) Oh, except I'd have to live with the pain, I'd love to be so physical and noisy with my anger.