A really close friend of mine died in June, it was totally unexpected despite her battaling with cancer for most of her life. My friends at the time were unsympathetic and I was kicked out of the group, my best friend however remains in this group and our relationship is strained, all we ever talk about is how mean the other group are to her, my life just isnt important enough. I need someone to talk to about my friends/grandmas death, but how do i tell someone this? Everyone just thinks that I should be over it by now but Im not they just think its an excuse. I still feel numb inside and have to constantly keep myself busy to stop myself from getting upset. Do I have depression? If so how can I cope with it?

it really does not sound like depression Fallen Star - it sounds like trying very hard to come to terms with recent loss. I have lost quite a few people in my life - to cancer, to illness, to tragic accident, to them not wanting to be in the world - and it takes so much to learn to live with loss. Loss cannot be filled ever - it is a gaping and echoing place of pain - that becomes less raw but never less deep. We would not want them not to have held that place in our lives and the world - our sense of loss is a continuing respect of that place. I hear you.

Hello FallenStar and welcome to BigWhiteWall

I am so sorry for your loss - how terrible. Particularly that your so called friends are being so unsupportive. I am by no means an expert but I would say that if you are really struggling with your feelings and the grief is not lifting, then you might want to see your GP or look into some grief counselling sessions to help you make sense of this tricky time. IS there anyone else you can lean on right now who you can trust with your feelings? A family member maybe?