I have a sister and am very fortunate that my parents never showed any favouritism towards one of us or the other. In saying that, my sister is the straight laced one and im the one that mucks up a bit so im sure my mother at times is happier with my sister than me. I guess growing up it was me getting in trouble, I was the adventurous one while my sister was more quiet and homely. I think in some ways its good if you have children that are different from one another and have different interests etc but id like to think that even though I have driven my parents up the wall from time to time and overall, they don't favour one of us over the other.

My first wife was a great one for stating her belief that all the children of a family should be treated equally and that there should be no scope for any child to wonder if it is loved more of less than any other. All very well in theory, but the facts don't bear the theory out. There is no law of love in nature. There is a biological imperative among mammals (and such are humans) to defend their young until they (the young) become independent. Loving in the context of the family is learned behaviour. You are entitled to love one more than another; you are entitled not to like one or more of your children, but you must, in honour of your having brought them into the world, give them the nurture and protection (and this includes displays of affection) to which they are entitled.

I didn't know the love of my first four until their mother left them with me and headed for greener pastures (and we might discuss the difference between love and lust in that context in some future thread).

When I remarried we had one child of our own, a wonderful daughter, the product of a love everybody should experience at least once (once is sufficient in our case). I am very close to her and you could probably say that I do love her more than I love the others. But I love all of them, and these days I like all of them as well, although this hasn't always been the case. That probably doesn't help, but...

Hey everyone, and thank you for replying to my post. It did feel weird Unionmade when my mother said this, but she has a manipulative streak in her too, especially after a drink, and she had also just been complaining that she never sees my brother much, so I wouldn't be surprised if she says the same to him when I am out of her favour.

Muse I am the second born, althouh I can see your thinking! But I guess if we were compared I am a bit more relaxed and outthere than my brother, who is a quieter gentler soul. We are both musicians though, which is something we share.

S1, thank you - its nice to be back :) Good to see you too

Its interesting getting the male (father) and female(mother) perspective on this also, I know my dad is closer to my brother because he understands him more, he doesn't get me with all my pink clothes and silly ways.. we never really connected, I wonder if there is less to 'get' in one child, and more in another, then you can love one more than the other?

hmmm