7Vicar asked me if I've really changed in another talkabout and I've been thinking about it, not just about have I changed, but also why have I changed.

I think what has helped me change are my two loves.

One has known me since I was 13, we went to school together and he has seen me through good times and bad. We have no secrets from each other and he accepts me for the 'real me'. He understands me. When we were young we discussed what we wanted to do with our lives, our hopes and dreams. He has actively helped me accomplish many of my dreams. I wouldn't have made it as far as I have without his friendship and love.  He makes me laugh. I love him and he loves me. (He calls me Thorn)

My other love met me after my mentor died and has helped me define the type of person I want to become. He sees the person I would have become if the horrors and tragedies hadn't happened to me. I am a softer and more gentle person when I am with him. He brings out the optimistic, joyful part of my personality. I smile more with him. (He refuses to call me Thorn.)

They are both facilitating my growth into the new and improved Thorn.

That's a good question 7vicar and the answer is yes, they do know each other and there is no perceivable jealosy. They aren't best buddies and they'll never get together for drinks, but we have all been in the same place at the same time and they get along just fine.

My brother inadvertantly helped all of us by asking if my first love truly accepted my relationship with my second love. That maybe he was just saying he was OK with it because he didn't want to lose me.  this question opened a dialog with both my loves. My first love said he has watched other lovers come and go in my life, but he's always been a constant so he feels secure in our relationship.

It would be very hypocritical of my second love to object to my first love. 

They both encourage my relationship with the other because it makes me happy.

What is strange is how my other friends reacted.

My favorite reaction was that I shouldn't have told my loves about each other. That it is OK for me to have two relationships as long as neither knew about the other. Both my loves and I wondered why it would be considered "better" to base a relationship on a lie. I can't imagine the pain I would have caused if I had lied and been found out. 

I think this reaction says so much about where our society is right now.