Talkabout

01/08/2008 @ 11:38 pixel said:

report

How do you begin to make a change in a life that has become very routine? I wonder if we just get too old to make change when we have got used to one way of being? Has anyone made a big change from their late 30s or early 40s and been happier?
01/08/2008 @ 21:32 Wolfie said:

report

hello pixel, i find that continual change is beneficial for me rather than seeking a major change. how do you feel about change? is it something that sits uncomfortably with you? Wx
01/08/2008 @ 21:36 tracya said:

report

i got divorced in my 30's, single mom with three kids, went to nursing school and then moved to england at 45, hmmm....happier???
it's always been hard, always huge obstacles...but it's my life and i just keep going forward!
01/08/2008 @ 21:48 harmony said:

report

I got divorced early 30s, moved to another part of Uk and went to University at 36 as a single parent with 2 children 12 and 15. Also got some long term therapy. Happier? - much, much, much happier. None of it was easy at any time but I don't regret a day of it.

XH
01/08/2008 @ 23:05 UMxx said:

report

How to change seems a bit easier if you know what it is that you want to be.

Do you know what you want to feel about yourself? Maybe not in the perfect sense or down to details - maybe something broader like calmer or more open with others or less negative. I feel that Wolfie is right that sometimes changes is easier when it is continual but sometimes we know we have to change because of what is happening around us - or for survival.

The times that I am low or depressed is the hardest time to see through the mood to what might be possible beyond so if it is feeling like this then maybe you are a bit low and might need a bit of time and space to feel like you know where you are and want to get to. How are you feeling inside? UMx
02/08/2008 @ 08:11 UMxx said:

report

Hi Pixel,

Just a thought, there is an article in the Useful stuff that I wasn't sure if you had found.

Here is the link to the article

UM xx
02/08/2008 @ 09:20 cate said:

report

Thinking back to my 30's and 40's I came to the realisation that I was no longer "young' . But at the age of 40 we had our second child the very best thing that could have happened. My mother was aghast but she was wrong and this change i our lives brought us immense happiness . I am not suggesting anything like this to you only that one should not be fearful of change at any age . Yes it can be challenging and it doesn't always bring joy but without some degree of change we can fall into the trap of old habits that hold us back from growing . Just a few thoughts I wanted to share , Cate xx
02/08/2008 @ 15:52 poppygirl said:

report

Hi,
I think sometimes change is good, not always a safe bet, but as the saying goes"a change is as good as a rest" don't quite know who said it, but my mother always used to say it to me ! perhaps it was her saying, who knows.
Yes, I have made big changes at various stages in my life and on the whole the majority of them have turned out for the better. Now when I feel the need to change something or forced through circumstances to change, I generally discuss the change with a few different close friends and get their feedback before I do anything drastic. I think now we call it mid life crisis.
Don't ever be afraid of change, it stops you from getting into a rut !!!
02/08/2008 @ 19:01 pixel said:

report

I have not made many changes in my life. Always lived in the same town. Had the same job for 15 years. It is just by this time i thought i would have been married and had some children and i can't work out what went wrong? Now it is getting too late.
03/08/2008 @ 08:19 tracya said:

report

i've been thinking about this and wanted to tell you that change is natural, it happens...in fact we can't stop it!!!! we all make tiny, insignificant choices that lead us in one direction or another.
all my "major" changes came about after years of thinking about it and planning and imagining myself in my new situation...almost willing it to happen.
your last comment about still being in the same place, same job etc...just says you tend to take what i call the "E" choice...picture a multiple choice test...you have answer "A"..answer "B" etc..."E" is none of the above.
we are all confronted with options, choices and opportunities, ranging from insignificant things like.... shoud i join my friends at dinner? to~ should i quit my job and travel the world?
i'm not at all implying that you have a boring life or don't take advantage of options...sometimes choosing none of the above is a good thing...but that's for you to decide. some people can't handle change and prefer the security of familiarity.
but....if you are feeling stuck then maybe it's time to dream a little...and make those dreams come true?
03/08/2008 @ 18:35 pixel said:

report

Tracya. I appreciate what you are saying. I sense, however, it is more that some opportunities did not present themselves and that my dreams of a family have not happened as there was never someone i loved that I wanted to have children with. He just did not happen.
04/08/2008 @ 10:57 poppygirl said:

report

Hi Pixel, Because you don't have children does not mean that you have to stay doing the same thing day in and day out. In fact in some ways you can have a lot more freedom to change, you just have to learn to enjoy life and make the changes, one big bonus with not having children is that you don't have to worry about where all the funds are coming from to enable them to be doing all the stuff everyone else is doing. In short, you are only responsible for yourself !!! Good place to be. Self sufficient. Take care Poppygirl
04/08/2008 @ 11:07 UMxx said:

report

Hi Pixel,

Can I ask a fairly direct question - that of course you must ignore if it is too uncomfortable. Are you feeling sad or that you have failed yourself by not having children? I know you have talked about being in a rut - I just wonder if you have a number of disappointments with not achieving what you wanted.

I feel there is something more that the awkwardness of feeling in a rut that might be bothering you. best wishes UM xx
04/08/2008 @ 14:45 nora said:

report

Hi pixel - know what you mean - iam 36 and have worked in an office sice 16 - only had 2 jobs- and watched all around me get married have kids - some get divorced and all move on to other jobs. I have not met the right man to do any of that or seen the better job to go for. only thing I can say I do have a good time and have really good friends some single but mainly married. I feel every summer I am in a rut - probably because my friends are going away and choose with their partners somewhere exotic - but I dont want to do that either alone or with my friends. i stay at home and be quiet. My life is in a rut - it is also not risky and has a rhythm that I like - except summers. Best of luck. Nora
04/08/2008 @ 20:32 pixel said:

report

Yes i deeply regret not having children. The thought of never having a child in my life is really dragging me down.
04/08/2008 @ 20:52 roze said:

report

Pixel. If a child is that important to you, it is not too late. I had my first and only child at 42 and now bring her up as a lone parent. There does not always have to be a perfect partner to bring up a child well. I have friends who deeply regret never having children. Not an easy one. What options do you feel that you may have? Hugs roze
11/08/2008 @ 23:15 Overseas said:

report

Hey pixel, when you think at your life, what is the first routine and annoying thing that is showing up in your mind ? Just let it come up.You said you went to University. Any particular reason behing this choice/decision ?

Like Wolfie, I prefer continual change. Though lately in my life (two or so years) it's not enough, but that's because I've to put myself back on my right track.

Cheers, OS.
12/08/2008 @ 13:40 tracya said:

report

pixel, if you really want a child, i would go for it! why wait for a man???
some of us who married and had kids and later divorced...wish we had just gone it alone!!!
it's not easy being a lone parent but there are advantages and the joy is all yours!!!

Top »

Post reply

You need to login to add your own comments

summer76 Brick viewer

Useful stuff

View more usefulstuff »

Big White Wall

Talkabout

Post reply

Related tags

Related bricks

Useful stuff