Hi UM,

I can identify with that feeling, I've taught groups of 20 - 30 people and spoken to 100+ - no problem at all, be it rehearsed or off-the-cuff.

But that's because you have the floor, you are in control and everyone is listening to you.

At a social gathering the dynamics are different because people tend, initially at least, to gather in groups with people they know and regardless of how relaxed and outgoing you might be, it is not always easy to break in to other's space.

uh,uh,uh,uh,uh,uh,uh...I shudder/laugh/shake....at both! ewwh! don't make me! Don't make me! Please please don't make me!

Is that enough, UM?

:) -Mebenji

Hi folks, Party every time can be scarier. Like others here I almost daily speak to groups of 10 - 20 people, on occasion rising to the hundreds. I still daily remind myself how amazing that is for me - in my teens I was so shy (and closeted) I even had difficulty asking for a train fare. I get a real kick out of public speaking, probably for all the wrong reasons. It is ultimately an ego trip. Yet there is something in being the centre of attention and yet still in a strange way being anonymous - being the speaker. I read it is the same for some of the greatest actors.

However I recall that when I had something like a social life, even my birthday party would cause me difficulty. Sometimes it was the wrong crowd or I could not connect in some way. Yet I remember I often relished being social with a group of people. Being an 'almost' only child my family and I hardly ever mixed with people. So when the chance came later in life I could get a real buzz from groups of people. The problem was, perhaps because of my formative years, I could often make a real hash of it, getting too drunk, embarrassing myself. No training I suppose?

Your post yet again struck a chord because of my work situation. I am the only one on the team who now declines the occasional 'fun' night out. I am sure people on here can imagine how isolating that is for me and how I am treated as a consequence. I am either a snob, socially dysfunctional or just plain ignorant apparently. It just adds to their ridicule. The problem however is I began to get less and less 'fun' from the fun night out. Often going home angry that I had been forced to remain polite whilst listening to inane babble and some very prejudiced ignorance. Please understand they can be 'nice' people but incredibly judgemental. If you do not fit their world view there is something wrong with you.Ultimately they can be so patronising. I think I have been honest enough now and told so many of them that a few drinks would now result in them being quite offended with what I thought. Perhaps my days are numbered.

There is so much more gone but gone on too long again

Bye

S76 X