Hiya AnxiousZ - welcome to Big White Wall, am very glad you found your way here.

Anxiety is something I do know a little bit about. You mention 'the shakes' - this is something that plagued me for about 2 years (and occassionally still does but I have learnt to control it).  I used to find myself in the most relaxed of social occassions, surrounded by friends and suddenly filled with such self consciousness that my whole body felt like it was going into convulsion, I would refuse to eat or drink for fear my shakey hands would reveal my nerves. I thought everyone was staring at me. And I too avoided social situations for a very long time.

There are a couple of things that I found helped, one was stopping drinking so much (I drank to try and compensate but it only made things worse as alcohol triggers adrenaline) and the other was learning deep breathing and meditation excercises. This meant that before I entered a social situation I would breath in for a count of three, and then breath out for a count of three, repeatedly until I felt relaxed. Everytime I started to feel the anxiety I would breath deeply from the stomach (not chest) focussing on the breathing.  Also drinking some water (have a bottle on you and take it to the loo for a sip if you are worried that your hands will shake, plus a bottle is better than a glass for this, especially if in public!!) is good to stop you from dehydrating and to 'freshen up' your head

Anxiety really does not have to control you, it happens to the most confident people. When do you feel anxiety attacks occuring? In what situations do they usually appear? When was the last time you had one? 

SK x 

Dear AnxiousZ   Meditation and breathing exercises are all good  suggestions. Hey do you know something ? Everyone but everyone  even those at the top  feel  anxiety at times  even the overwhelming sort. You have to take charge of those feelings by listening to the  sensible voice in your head The voice that tells you to put a bandaid on when you cut yourself  to keep away from the flame - the voice of reason . That voice will also remind you to be careful next time you handle something sharp or dangerous. So what is worst thing that can happen  if you don't get the job and what is the worst thing that can happen if you don't even try for the job? And who says you won't get a job if you keep triyng?

Remind yourself in social situations that 99% of people are also experiencing some level of anxiety - call it stress -at the same  moment you are . It's just that they may be distracting themselves from it with chatter , deep breathing or acting their way through the situation . Don't isolate yourself. Remember once you were a little one and even though you fell over many times you learnt to walk. And still later to run.

We  ALL struggle with situations that seem every day stuff just don't let yourself think the hill  is a a mountain. OK ?

Take care Love , Cate

Hey AnxiousZ,

Do you do anything in your life that you consider to be 'relaxing' - like taking a walk every day, doing stretching, yoga, pilates, running or simply havinga  hot bath? Its really easy when everything is getting a bit much to neglect your emotional health and just keep on worrying. You may feel like you have more time on your hands while you are out of work, and this might make you feel panicky, but what better opportunity to get into a routine where you set aside an hour or so to just chill out and get your head into a good place. Do those breathing excercises and agree not to worry about anything. Then set aside another time in the day dedicated to job hunting, and do it for that amount of time and no more... I find great comfort in routine. Dont worry about your social life just yet, that will come, it sounds like you need to get yourself into a healthier stronger space first and concentrate on yourself

This article might also offer some explanation as to why you find yourself in these situations 

Z x